Gifts for Grandkids Who Already Have Everything: The Deep Dive
October 3, 2026 — 65Nation
This week, our list of gifts for grandkids who already have everything became the most-read story on 65Nation. Clearly, a lot of you are standing in the same spot.
The toy bins are overflowing. The parents are dropping gentle hints. And the holidays are getting closer every day.
So we dug deeper. Why does one gift fade by New Year’s while another becomes a story your grandchild tells for decades? Why do parents keep asking for less? And how do you stay generous without adding to the pile in the garage?
Here is what the research says, and what it means for your list this year.
How Much Grandparents Already Give
AARP surveyed more than 3,300 U.S. grandparents in late 2025 for its newest grandparenting study. 9 in 10 said they provide financial support to their grandchildren. On average, they spend $2,654 a year on all their grandchildren combined.
AARP noted that this tops the average monthly Social Security retirement benefit of $2,071. That is a lot of love, and a lot of money. It makes sense to put it where it will count the most.
What the Experience Research Really Found
Last week we mentioned a study by Cindy Chan of the University of Toronto and Cassie Mogilner of UCLA, published in the Journal of Consumer Research. It deserves a closer look.
The researchers ran four studies of real gift exchanges between people who know each other. Experience gifts strengthened relationships more than material gifts did. That held true whether or not the giver and recipient shared the experience.
The secret is emotion. The closeness grew from the feelings people had while they were enjoying the gift. Opening it was only the beginning.
Even so, most of us still reach for things. In one of the researchers’ surveys, 78 percent of people said they mostly give material gifts.
Here is good news for anyone who loves to wrap something. Material gifts framed around the experience also create strengthened relationships. A picture book can come with a standing reading date. A sled can come with a promise of the first snow day at your house.
The Surprising Case for Fewer Toys
When parents ask you to cut back on toys, they may be onto something.
Researchers at the University of Toledo watched 36 toddlers, ages 18 to 30 months, play on two separate visits. On one visit, the playroom held four toys. On the other, it held 16.
With four toys, the children played with each one longer and used it in more creative ways. With 16, they hopped from toy to toy. One more detail stands out: the toddlers in the study had an average of 87 toys at home.
It was a small study, and the researchers did not name an ideal number of toys. Still, it offers a kinder way to hear the parents’ request. Cutting back is its own form of help.
If you still want to give something to unwrap, one well-chosen toy may get more love than a stack of them.
Four Questions to Ask the Parents
This week we suggested a quick chat with Mom or Dad before you buy. These four questions make that conversation easy.
- “Is there a class or outing you’ve wanted to try but haven’t had time to plan?” Many parents already have a wish list in their heads.
- “Is there anything you’d rather we skip this year?” This gives them permission to be honest about clutter, noisy toys, or screens.
- “Would a weekly class help, or would it crowd your schedule?” A Saturday swim lesson only works if someone can get the child there. If you live nearby, offering to drive may be the best part of the gift.
- “Have you set up a college savings account?” Ask before giving money for the future, since every family handles it differently.
Have this chat soon. Popular classes and holiday shows can fill up early.
Gifts That Work Across the Miles
Distance is part of life for many families. In AARP’s 2018 grandparenting study, more than half of grandparents had at least one grandchild living more than 200 miles away.
A study from Lafayette College, published in Developmental Science, offers real encouragement. Researchers worked with 60 children between 12 and 25 months old. Some had live FaceTime chats with a new adult, while others watched pre-recorded videos of the same person.
After one week, only the children on live calls recognized and preferred their on-screen partner. Starting around 17 months, they recognized someone they had only “met” by video, and the oldest toddlers learned new words. The children who watched recordings showed no such recognition.
That detail matters. A recorded read-aloud is a lovely keepsake that brings your voice into bedtime. The bond itself grows in live calls, where your grandchild can wave and you can wave right back.
Reading together is a good place to start. In a 2021 AARP report, only about 1 in 4 grandparents said they read to their young grandchildren during video chats. So consider making the call part of the gift:
- A standing story-time call. Pick a day and time, then mail two copies of the same picture book, one for their house and one for yours. The study’s lead researcher, Lauren Myers, has suggested reading books or playing with matching toys during video chats.
- A matching pair. Send a small puppet or stuffed animal and keep its twin by your phone or tablet.
- Show and tell. Ask the parents to save a few minutes of each call for your grandchild to show you something new.
The Gift Only You Can Give: Family Stories
Some of the most valuable things you can give your grandchildren are already stored in your memory.
Emory University psychologists Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush created a 20-question “Do You Know?” scale. It asks children things like where their grandparents grew up and how their parents met. Children who knew more of their family history tended to have higher self-esteem and a stronger sense of control over their lives.
In a study of teenagers, higher scores were also linked with lower anxiety and fewer behavior problems. According to Duke, the healthiest family stories include hard times along with happy ones. In the researchers’ view, resilience grows when a child understands that bad moments do not define the family.
Turn that into gifts:
- A recipe with its story. When you bake that holiday cookie together, tell them who made it first. Write the story on the back of the recipe card you send home.
- An answer book. Fill a notebook with your answers to questions like the ones on the scale: where you grew up, your first job, the day your grandkids’ mom or dad was born.
- A story in every letter. Add one family memory to each letter or time capsule entry from last week’s list.
The Book Ritual, by the Numbers
Books are one “thing” most parents welcome, and the reading adds up fast. An Ohio State University study estimated that a child who reads one book a day hears roughly 290,000 more words by age 5 than a child who is never read to. At five books a day, the gap tops 1.4 million words.
Every book you give, inscribe, and read together, in person or on a video call, adds to that total.
Make the Moment Last
Since the feelings during an experience are what build the bond, it pays to stretch those feelings out.
- Capture it. Snap a photo during the outing and mail a print afterward for the fridge.
- Talk about it. On your next call, bring it up: “What was your favorite animal at the zoo?”
- Count down to it. For school-age grandkids, mark the date on a calendar together. Little ones still do best when the experience happens soon after the gift, as we noted last week.
- Repeat it. Return to the same pumpkin patch or train ride each year and take the same photo in the same spot. One gift becomes a tradition you can watch grow.
The toy bins will fill up again. Birthdays and holidays will keep coming. What lasts is the feeling of a Saturday morning with you, the sound of your voice on a Tuesday call, and the stories only you can tell.
Pick one idea, talk with the parents this week, and put the first date on the calendar.
