In the Netherlands, college students live rent-free with older housemates in exchange for companionship and help around the house. In Japan, where 30 percent of the population is 65 and older, multigenerational living has long been the norm. Germany has built intergenerational housing projects to give older adults a social outlet while keeping housing costs down.
Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, a gentleman known as Grandad Joe (who lives with his daughter and her family) has racked up over 9.2 million TikTok followers. Apparently, the world cannot get enough of this kind of living.
Here in America, though, the trend has been slow to catch on. According to A. Krista Sykes, a writer and editor for Harvard Graduate School of Design, only 2 percent of Americans live in a true intergenerational arrangement. That compares to 20 percent who live in a multigenerational household, meaning multiple generations of the same family under one roof.
What Does Intergenerational Living Actually Mean?
It simply means unrelated people from different generations sharing a home or a community. AARP notes that multigenerational living, family members of different ages living together, falls under the same umbrella.
You do not have to move into a special community to try it. Many seniors open their homes to younger roommates through homesharing. Sites like SpareRoom and Roomster can help you find a younger person looking for a place to rent.
If you prefer a purpose-built community, there are at least 160 intergenerational living communities across the United States.
5 Ways to Make Intergenerational Living Work for You
Living with someone new is always an adjustment. Living with someone from a different generation can bring its own surprises. Here is what helps, according to Senior Resource.
1. Set expectations before anyone unpacks a box.
Who handles the cooking? Who takes out the trash? How will utilities and groceries be split? If your housemate has young children, are you willing to babysit and how often? These conversations feel a little awkward at first, but they prevent a lot of headaches down the road. Get everything on the table early and revisit it often.
2. Respect each other’s privacy.
You want your privacy honored, and so does your housemate. When you sit down to talk about expectations, make sure you also talk about boundaries. Are certain rooms off-limits? Do you prefer to eat your meals alone? What is your policy on guests? SpareRoom recommends writing down agreed-upon rules for shared spaces so nothing is left to guesswork.
3. Be willing to compromise.
No living arrangement is perfect, and there will be moments when you simply have to meet in the middle. The thermostat is a classic example; maybe you like it at 75, and your housemate runs cold at 68. Find a number you can both live with. Choosing your battles carefully keeps the peace far better than digging in on every little thing.
4. Keep talking, even when things are going fine.
Small frustrations have a way of growing when you stay quiet about them. If something changes (your schedule, your needs, your comfort level) say so. Your housemate cannot guess what is bothering you. A short honest conversation now is much easier than a blowup later.
5. Actually spend time together.
Many intergenerational living programs exist specifically to address senior loneliness. If you are just nodding hello in the hallway and retreating to your room, you are leaving the best part on the table. Sit down for a meal. Pull out a board game. Share a little of the wisdom that only comes from having lived as long as you have. The research suggests it is good for you emotionally and even cognitively to build those real connections.
Living with someone younger is not for everyone, and that is perfectly fine. But for those who try it, the rewards, such as the company, the cost savings, and the sense of purpose, can make the adjustment more than worth it.
